As Unitarian Universalists we generally agree that it is the relationships between people that matter. We may not think, believe, or feel alike. We will often disagree. We will celebrate and find different meanings in the celebration. It IS our difference that is magical and powerful and central- a merging of pluralism, generosity, and love. At the end of the day, it is our relationships that we center- how we choose to be present and in relationship with one another that matters. In the current social and political climate- centering relationship is a revolutionary act.
Our congregations now are dealing with the natural outcome of a society under duress- behaviors that are harmful at worst and soil for miscommunication at best. How we respond to those behaviors matters. If you are noticing heightened conflict, confusing reactions, and even harmful behavior in your UU communities- please know that you are not alone. It is a sign of the times. How we respond to these situations matters more than you could know.
- How is your congregation setting compassionate boundaries that centers the care of those who are not living into covenant?
- Is your covenant clear about how to respond specifically, openly, and with processes for returning to relationship?
- Does your community/congregation typically avoid talking to people engaging in harmful behaviors or are you more likely to cut them off and kick them out? Have you found a process between those two options?
Again, if these are questions you do not know how to answer- you are not alone. We are always “building a new way” together. We’ve learned from congregations who are doing this well that having a Right Relationship Team, lots of opportunities for the membership to practice difficult conversations, and ways for folks who fall out of covenant to return to covenant.
If this is something your community is dealing with, please reach out to us for support. As the song goes, “we will get there, heaven knows how we will get there, but we know we will…” We can find a path forward and you are not alone.
