Patient
Patience is a virtue, so we are told. In many of our own personal experiences, this phrase is parroted by people who want us to wait or who want us not to take some kind of action. As wise as the sentiment is in theory, for many this phrase is associated with frustration or unnecessary waiting.
Of course, this isn’t anything new. Sacred literature, history books, and all kinds of other sources hold stories about humans who need to be patient…and who hate that they have to be patient. A great many of the psalms in the Hebrew Scriptures hold this feeling. And the psalms were sung in worship in some of the most ancient services of our Jewish forebears. And they taught us well. Just listen to any radio station for long, or pick up an album from the shelf, and in different ways you’ll hear the ways the musicians yet express this frustration with being told or being forced to be patient. Hits by The Rollings Stones, Norah Jones, and others come to mind immediately.
For me, when I hear with word “patience” it creates in me the effect of the word that falls upon the ear exactly the same: “patients.” And anyone who works in a hospital for long might have a similar reaction to hearing that word. They might think about an entire floor or part of a floor for which they were responsible. They might have flashbacks of trying to deliver medications correctly, of responding to codes, of all kinds of needs and requirements of their patients. They might remember waiting on them hand and foot.
I will always remember my time as a chaplain in a hospital. In part, I will remember my time because of the amazing patients I met and cared for. I will remember it for the kind, generous, unflinchingly caring souls who helped me care for others’ souls. But more than anything, I will remember the beeper. As I visit my family this week, I am just a hill away from the hospital where I was a chaplain, and I will always remember the beeper I kept at my bedside when I was the “on call” chaplain. When that beeper went off in the dead of the night, nothing good was happening for someone. Whatever was happening could not wait.
It was then that I learned what being part of a team that runs toward trouble, that does not need to be patient, that gets to the patient as soon as humanly possible means. I don’t say this for sympathy, but my sleep patterns were altered permanently from that experience–I sleep more lightly now. But I count this as a gift, a reminder of what service to others costs. The virtue of patients, of those who may be waiting for our care, our concern, our common decency, is not always that we learn what patience means. Sometimes the virtue is that we learn what constant vigilance for the care others means…to them and to us.
And may it ever be so.
Rev. T. J.
minister@unitariansofhi.org
Your messages are always so reflective and educational, T. J. I hadn’t thought about people like hospital chaplains as being “first responders,” but they are. As are those who teach in inner city schools or volunteer in far-flung villages in the Peace Corps — when they run in the direction of a cry for help, they are as giving of themselves as the police or fire fighters, usually with much less recognition. Thanks for all you do. 🙂
As always your message moves me & reminds me of parts of myself & parts of my life. I never have thought of myself as a “first responder” & I’m not sure I still do. Maybe a second responder, something to think about. As a hotline responder for rape victims, Red Cross house fire responders, or crisis/ disaster responder you are so right, I sleep lighter – never thought about that either – always ready to go because “nothing good was happening for someone.”
Now working with Le’a, who is so patient with patients. I’ve learned more about being patient. People in nursing homes, hospitals, and hospices deserve all the patience we can offer.
In your first paragraph you write about “people who want us to wait or who want us not to take some kind of action” and currently that is part of my personal life. Again, I want to thank you for writing a message that is very meaningful for me and I am sure so many others.