Appreciating Our Spiritual Home

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On Sunday, we enjoyed our Spiritual Home together. After hearing more of Dan and other members’ amazing feats in restoring and maintaining our beloved church, our Meditation Walk and Feng Shui Four Corner Blessings, congregants wrote reflections – appreciation, hopes, and suggestions. Honoring and appreciation for our church building, especially for the generosity and capabilities of our members, were palpable and moving, both during and after the service. Here are a few of the notes:

  • “May this old house continue to be a place of refuge, peace, and love for all who enter and for our entire world!” – Sheila O.
  • “For this church and all UU churches to survive, for my generation to raise our children in them.”
  • “I am inspired by the care and effort that has been given by our church ohana to keep this place going! A memory- when my young kiddo discovered how loud the sanctuary floor could be when he stomped loudly on it. And the wonderful aunties who told me not to hush him because he was making a joyful noise! – Laura
  • “Such a large building with lots of character and potential”
  • “Gorgeous building, well-preserved and cared for, upkeep always and ever!”
  • “How the church is becoming a warm home! More Beautiful!” – Keif
  • “I hope membership will grow and we’ll see many new faces.“
  • “This church is truly a remarkable building. Its architecture and design are so unique. There are wonderful details all over it. I am amazed by the paneling and bookshelves. It really makes a special place to worship.” – James Eitel
  • “I wish for the continued preservation of this old building. It would be nice to have more flowers.”
  • “Sharing Love. Spiritual home”
  • “Unitarians are the hands of Social Justice in the U.S. Can we be the heart in Hawai’i?”
  • “I hope the church is able to serve as a refuge to those who want/need it for years to come.”
  • “We prayed for this to be our home.”
  • “Beautiful indoor/outdoor Home. I love the Hawaiian Breeze.”
  • “She’s a grand dame!”
  • “To grow and spread love throughout the community.”
  • “My Vision: that replacements for Julian, Al, Dan, and Pierre will appear soon – Folks who love the building and are capable.”
  • “Provide volunteer-led tours of the property and house, like Liljestrand house. Charge a fee. Check their website. $75-150 pp. 60-90 min. 10-14 ppl max. Reservations required.”
  • “I love this building and accept its history. We have the power of love to transform it and make it a true sanctuary for those who worship and live here.”
  • “Better parking”
  • “1) Bushes too large. 2) Bricks should be power-washed- some of the brickwork could be so lovely. 3) Garden needs to have a mix of practical and beauty.” – Jim LoPresti

Note to Jim: I have a power-washer. Want to volunteer with me?

Mahalo to all, it is an honor to serve you!
Rev. Deborah

We Are One

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Aloha members and friends!

Growing up, my mother told us, “The one true evil is divisiveness.”

Already a good questioning 12-year-old Unitarian (this was before we merged with Universalism), I questioned- how could divisiveness be the ONE true evil?  There are so many evils! But then, like a good 13-year-old Unitarian, I thought about it.

Every evil I could see, once more deeply considered,  boiled down to divisiveness.

And we merged with the Universalists. And this further strengthened the goodness and truth of our unity in faith. We are one.

Now here we are, with divisiveness rampant, it is ever more important that we be united in our love, our empathy, our compassion, and our kuleana for a safe and healthy community.

This morning, the InterFaith Alliance national office reached out to ask me to endorse this statement called the “Love Notice”:  “ICE cruelty is threatening our religious calling to love our neighbors — in our houses of worship and in our communities. As faithful Americans, as an expression of our values, we demand that the federal government stop the attacks on our neighbors and we call on our political and religious leaders to stand in solidarity against their cruelty.”

You can click here to join me and people of faith across the country as we stand for the dignity and worth of each person.

“ICE cruelty is threatening our religious calling to love our neighbors — in our houses of worship and in our communities. As faithful Americans, as an expression of our values, we demand that the federal government stop the attacks on our neighbors, and we call on our political and religious leaders to stand in solidarity against their cruelty.”

Now a question– are you a friend who wishes to join us as a member?

Or, are you a member who has not yet been welcomed in an InGathering?

If so, please email me minister@unitariansofhi.org so we may “gather you in” formally, in celebration, even if long after joining.

Mahalo to each of you for all you do!

Rev. Deborah

A Late Valentine to You!

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What a wonderful week – from meeting with interfaith leaders from across the state, and two from the national InterFaith Alliance, Washington DC office, to our InterFaith service with exquisite music led by our Beth Beyers, and beautifully delivered by our pianist Noe Baladad and by our choir, to our New Member Orientation!

We have nine new members!
We have five new children!
And I think another beloved is joining today!
Our beloved community’s growth is so precious to me.
With each new person in our congregation, we grow stronger in our support of peace and goodness in our world.
Theresa Moorleghen, Leanne MacIntire of our membership team, and Catherine Graham, our VP (and much more), and I met with our wonderful new members over carrot soup lunch. We shared about our faith and our church, and we heard about their experiences with UU and what they seek in our church.

We will formally welcome them at our “InGathering” in our March 1st service.
Please be there to celebrate:

  • Lauren Staiger with children Katherine and Jonathan
  • Zak Fraser, son of Rev Bob Fraser our minister from 1985-95, and son of Catherine Graham!
  • Megan Casey
  • Margaret Foulkes
  • John-Paul Chaisson-Cardenas
  • Angelica Cardenas-Chaisson
  • Jaclynn Sebado-Eitel with children Jack, George, and Anna
  • James (Jimbo) Eitel (with those same kids!)

Recent members who will be welcomed in our InGathering:

  • Rick Pittaway
  • James (Jim) LoPresti
  • Diane Divita

Are you a member who has not yet been welcomed in an InGathering?
If so, please email me so we may “gather you in” formally, in celebration, even if long after joining.

Mahalo to each of you for all you do!
Rev. Deborah

It has been a big week for us!

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Our Social Justice Growth
Our incredible, indefatigable, stalwart team of Marie Anne and Francine Less welcomes four new members to support our justice work in our larger community. We are thrilled to welcome Zach Fraser, Keif Ariola, Sorcha McCarrey, and Paul Davis to our expanded Social Justice team. 

Help for Us – Year 2
This windy week brought Rev. Dr. Samantha Wilson, a wonderful Taizé experience Friday night designed and led by Beth Beyers, with Catherine Graham and Karen Fothergill readings. Saturday, our core year 1 (First Hope) and core year 2 (More Hope) teams met at my house to confer and plan.  Rev. Sam is leading our beloved community with love and skill as we take our next steps in deep listening, integrating our history, and freeing our loving energy. The Sunday service was well-received, and our TalkStory in the study was rich. See Rev. Sam’s message for details and to consider how you may engage in the enriching work. 

Our Beautiful Church
While some of us met for spiritual, soulful relational work to support our church, others tackled the tough physical stuff– floors, storage areas, the kitchen, moving the piano (!), and cleaning the windows –  oh my!! Juliet Begley and her friend have cleared our views from the sanctuary and gallery. We are looking better and better!

Our Friend Thomas
Our choir director, Thomas DeLaine, has worked with our choir and pianist to deliver beautiful music, supporting our Sunday services and delighting us. He has accomplished this while suffering from serious neurological issues. We are deeply saddened and concerned to report that Thomas is still suffering through these problems. He has just resigned to focus on his health. We are sad to lose his support of our music program, but we are hopeful that his health will improve. Thomas, Abby, and Benji are beloved in our congregation, and we hope they will stay close.

Please Join Us as a Member!
This Sunday, directly after church, friends who wish to become members will meet with me in the study for an orientation. Grab some refreshments and join us so we may begin soon after 11 am, aiming to conclude by noon. After this orientation session, new members may sign the membership book and make a contribution, and we will induct them as new members during the church service on March 1st.  We will offer optional workshops for new members and any others interested in the next weeks, including  “UU History and Theology” and “How our Church Works.” 

InterFaith Retreat and Sunday Service in Honor of InterFaith Harmony Month
I am writing to you from The InterFaith Hawai‘i retreat in Kona, including two representatives of the International InterFaith Alliance, clergy, religious leaders and activists from diverse faiths across the state. The retreat is produced by the TIAH board members, including our Marie Anne (Secretary) and friends Cynthia (President) and Tom Lynch (Board Member). The presentations and conversations have been stellar. This has been a wonderful opportunity for me to network and to learn – especially as our Sunday worship service is: “Intersecting Faith: InterFaith Harmony Month.”


Mahalo for all you do,
Deborah

Rev. Deborah Bond-Upson, Minister
First Unitarian Church of Honolulu
808-367-0710
2500 Pali Highway, Honolulu, 96817
office hours: Tuesday 10am-2pm, Wednesday 2pm-6pm

Our February 1st Town Hall!

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Sunday we gathered after Keola Whittaker’s moving message “The Thaw” for our first Sunday of the month Town Hall. We had much to discuss. Sue asked me to show the assembled our new website first. Our incredibly skilled office manager, Suzette, manages much! And she managed to do much to help our web developer Naomi Moon and me to rebuild the website— using past content, but creating new, editing and deleting old. This is now live, but it is in progress! Please email suggestions to Suzette or me for changes and additions!

Now it is easy for members to log in to the Member Portal. Use the email this newsletter came to. If you do not remember your password, just click “lost password” and make one up. Here is a quick view of what members can see. Notice the links on the right (also available in the Member Portal dropdown menu above)

Our Town Hall was important and moving. Members can see a summary of the meeting and the slides by clicking here February 1, 2026 TownHall
(You will need to log in. But it is easy, please try it! If you are not a member and want to see the summary, email me.)

  • We explored the new website- first big update since 2017.
  • We reached an important consensus that our Shefflera/Umbrella Tree hedge has exceeded its healthy lifespan, so it must be removed for safety reasons.
  • Sue reported on some of the many building upgrades, alarms, etc. — I witnessed Dan and Pierre on scaffolding, replastering the kitchen ceiling— these guys do not stop!
  • Sanctuary setup was discussed—we are experimenting to continuously improve audio, visibility, and aesthetics, and to make room for our growing numbers—we ran out of Orders of Service for the past two Sundays!
  • We discussed our “Black Lives Matter” banner hanging on our aging sign on Pali Highway. This banner has had to be replaced 17 times due to vandalism. Other churches have supported us in replacing it, as they have valued this expression of support, controversial as it has been. The sign has been a safety concern for some of our residents and neighbors, and we have been very concerned about that. Given all the threats and concerns today, several members have suggested new banners, and some have suggested rotating them. Our resident Kristin Witcher shared her feelings of vulnerability caused by this banner on the highway and offered us an important understanding of Stochastic Terrorism, the interactive process that links public rhetoric to acts of violence. “Safety always comes first.” You may read Kristin’s full presentation to us here—Mahalo to Kristin for sharing this with all of us.

The past two church services have responded to our current, painful, dangerous, and divisive situation. “UU Heroes – Then & Now” and “The Thaw” have both addressed our need to progress as humans, to protect each other, to stand for what is right, and to continuously be of love to each and all, with humility.

Sue summarized this most important movement of congregational shared hearts and minds like this:

We are listening better. At Sunday’s town hall, we finally tackled the issue of the Black Lives Matter banner: some wanted to keep displaying it at the highway, while others wanted to rotate it with other banners more in tune with the current national scene. Folks were patient. Almost everyone spoke. Amazingly, after we heard from church resident Kristin Witcher about her struggle with the banner and her concern for the neighbors, who are not white, privileged folk, the congregation began to understand how our need to take a stance might make the vulnerable, whom we want to support, feel even more vulnerable. Zachary Fraser, told the congregation that when the conversation began, he was all for putting up a banner with the most radical statement he could think of about ICE, but after hearing from Kristin, he found himself siding with Molly Rowland, our oldest congregant, who says take down down the BLM banner and spend our time and resources on fixing the church’s sign that is about to fall over on its face! Amazing! For the most conservative and the most radical to converge!

Our sign on the Pali Highway will be rebuilt. We will move forward together.

February is InterFaith Harmony Month.

The Interfaith Alliance of Hawai’i (TIAH) is leading, coordinating, and supporting activities throughout Hawai’i for the month.
Friends of our church, Cynthia Lynch, president, and Thomas Lynch, board member, are sponsoring an InterFaith retreat of leaders of diverse faiths. Our own Marie Anne, TIAH secretary and leader in our church, and I are participating.

Our February 15th worship service is included in the InterFaith Harmony Month events. We are hoping for others in our larger community to join us as we consider “where we converge.”

Mahalo for all you do,
Deborah

Rev. Deborah Bond-Upson, Minister
First Unitarian Church of Honolulu
808-367-0710
2500 Pali Highway, Honolulu, 96817
office hours: Tuesday 10am-2pm, Wednesday 2pm-6pm

UU in our Larger Community Today

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UU in our Larger Community Today (well, last night in particular)

I hope you will join us on Sunday for “UU Heroes Then & Now.”

Some of our own members and leaders were heroes in my book for bringing the ACLU Resistance Training to our sanctuary last night. It was full with over 100 attending! And it was abuzz with people earnestly seeking to learn how to protect the safety and rights of those at risk, including ourselves.

Board member Juliet Begley made the commitment long ago, and last night our members and leaders snapped to attention to make the crowd welcome – from Marie Anne and Jaron on opening and set up, Catherine on parking, Sue overseeing everything, and many of us in the assembled.

I felt that many of the smart, caring activists gathered would be wonderful new members! I saw this as a marvelous opportunity to reach out to a network of folks from various organizations, and for them to see the congenial, free, and supportive community we are here at UUHonolulu. (I wished I had business cards, but found other ways to connect with some.)

I was eager to learn how best to advance protections as our government grows more authoritarian. The tactics were much like we learned in civil rights and peace marches and Quaker draft counseling in the early 70’s. I was not the only one who was having flashbacks. But the times feel yet more complex now, with some of our human rights norms seeming to erode.

The assembled welcomed the updates and coaching. Here is a digest of our main presenter, senior staff attorney Emily Hills’s “own opinion” on what is required in an effective movement to preserve our democracy:

  1. Unifying and focused vision that transcends party lines.
  2. Sustained widespread participation.
  3. Protection of voting rights to enable mass participation in the next election.
  4. Effective means of combatting disinformation and propaganda.
  5. Judges committed to judicial independence.
  6. Open lines of communication with security forces (local police, military, ICE, National Guard, etc.)

What do you think of these suggestions for human rights protections?

Please join us for the Sunday service and bring your thoughts for TalkStory after!

Mahalo for all you do!
Rev. Deborah

A Challenging Time to Be Us

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We are Unitarian Universalists, guided by love and reason, aiming for peace and happiness – for all.
What a challenging time to be us. To be UUs.  
Are you, like me, wondering how we can:
  • Know enough to achieve deep understanding and considered awareness?
  • Fulfill our role in our current environment of shocking abuses?
  • Strategize effectively in this complex world full of distractions
  • Find the places and times to speak and act, support and help?
  • Live from our own 
I believe we need to research widely and dig deeply into ourselves to avoid knee-jerk responses, discriminate, and show up in meaningful ways in critical situations.
To rise to this challenge, I suggest we follow reliable organizations that share our moral compass. Two of the first I consider are the UUSC and the ACLU.
 
The UUSC — our UU Service Committee – was founded in 1940 to save people from the Nazi’s. Now our service committee is at work on our behalf around the world and at home. We can learn from their research, consider their actions, support, and leverage their strategies locally. They have my attention now.
 
The ACLU has been protecting our precious civil liberties in deep and challenging ways since 1920. And we have an active ACLU chapter here.
Please see what is coming up over the next two weeks for us to join — the 3rd gathering at our own church!
 
“Inequality by Design: Race, Rights, and Justice Systems,” a conversation with ACLU National President Deborah Archer. 
Tuesday, January 13th 5-7 pm @ Richardson School of Law, UH at the University of Hawai’i. 2515 Dole St.
Registration required as space is limited – bit.ly/acluarchertalk
 
“Police Accountability in Hawai’i: Building True and Meaningful Community Safety”
Thursday, January 15, 5:30 – 7:pm @ Central Union Church, Parish Hall, 1660 S. Beretania St.
Registration bit.ly/acluhipolicing
(Training) “Join the Resistance: How to Push Back Against Authoritarianism” 
Tuesday, January 20, 5 – 7pm, First Unitarian Church of Honolulu, 2500 Pali Highway HERE!!!
Registration: bit.ly/acluresistance
 
This Sunday,  January 11th
I hope you will join us this Sunday for Dan Carpenter’s “Traveling- The Journey”!
I look forward to hearing from our beloved Dan, who keeps us strong in both building and spirit!
 
January 18th – Special Visitors!
We will have Éva Patkó, an expert in the Theater of Empowerment, sharing a Transylvanian view.
Her husband, Zsolt Láng, will meet with interested readers and thinkers to discuss one of his prize-winning short stories.
Email me at minister@unitariansofHI.org to receive a PDF. Please join us for the service and the reading/thinking group afterward.
 
Aloha, Rev. Deborah

Gearing Up for the Holidays

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We are gearing up for the holidays!

From the moving Winter Spiral, to UU Yule-Advent candles, to choir singing breathtakingly beautiful carols, to preparations for our “No Rehearsal Nativity Pageant,” the spirit is in the air!

Please contact me if you would you like to help put on the pageant – it is going to be such fun!

We hope you will join us at church or on Zoom for these next services!

  • 12/14 – Nan Kleiber will be leading Kupuna OWL this Sunday and we are all ears!
  • 12/21 – Mary MacKay will be leading “The Miracle of Darkness: A Celebration of Wonder” – her services are always fascinating!
  • 12/24 – Christmas Eve “No Rehearsal Pageant and Caroling” at 6pm – I will be leading with big help from Thomas, Noe and the choir, Sorcha on drama, Laura Goemans on costumes – and we hope you will participate!
  • 12/28 – Burning Bowl – I am leading the service now that I have had a tutorial on the higher fluid etc! Come join us as we drop what needs to go and we start fresh for the new year!
We will offer interesting, deepening, enjoyable seminars in the new year and want your input!
  • Nan will be offering Kupuna OWL–please let her know if you are interested.
  • I will lead any of these are of interest to you:
    •  “UU History 101” – 6 sessions
    • “UU Heroes” 4 sessions + a worship service
    • “Roots” 1 session (on UU History, Theology, and our church)

Please email me with your interest including days and times that would work for you.

I am so grateful for all the openness, help, and support this congregation is giving me, your new minister!

Mahalo nui loa!
Deborah
minister@unitariansofhi.org

A Powerful Celebration of Community

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This past week has been a powerful celebration of community!

From the Nu’uanu Valley Thanksgiving service with record attendance promoted by our own Marie Anne and others, to Thomas, Sorcha and our choir performing beautifully.

To Crystal’s beautiful reading of Rev. Gary Kowalski’s Peace poem that seemed to bring all our faith communities together. I was not the only UUHonolulu member full of joy and pride!

Then we had Thanksgiving at the church orchestrated by Nan Porterfield with 40 wonderful people, elegant tables, fantastic food, live music, UU Quiz winners, and even dancing!

My Sunday service on “Communitarian- It’s a Real Thing” seemed to sum up the week.

A beloved community must be a loving community— and ours feels alive with loving respect and appreciation.

I am so happy to be here serving you.

— Rev. Deborah

P.S. Please come to our Town Hall after church on Sunday,  we seek your views on adult education programs to begin in January and on possible changes in our sanctuary.

Hope for Us

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We are so fortunate to have Rev. Sam working with us for year 2 of Hope for Us!

This is valuable support for our community and ourselves.

Please take a few moments to ponder her questions in this survey, respond and nominate your self or others to be in the team of about 20 to work together this year.
Click here for the survey.

Mahalo for contributing to our community!  — Rev. Deborah

Minister’s Message

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Beloved friends,  What a joy to see the activity at our church!

  • Forty-three folks are reserved for Thanksgiving! Nan P a wizard! Bring your favorite beverage, whatever it is. Sue Y-C says alcohol is allowed as we wish. There is still time to sign up HERE.
  • In Religious Education visits the past two Sundays I found wonderfully wise and kind leaders- Peg and Karen – engaged and darling children, and new faces. This is a special joy!
  • Committees are re-igniting! We will talk committees at our Dec. 7th TownHall, but even before then–
    • Our new Media & Communications team has begun, let us know if you want to join.
    • Our Care team – former, continuing, new, and potentially interested will meet in the Study or zoom Dec 3rd at 3pm.
  • Our Sunday services are blessed by an amazing team of worship associates, Gabe, Crystal, Juliet and Catherine! (We cannot wait to hear about her RedCross Alaska service when we see Catherine!)
  • Our choir is bringing such beauty to our services with the leadership of Choir Director – Thomas, Pianist – Noe, and Assistant Choir Director and Accompanist- Sorcha!

Please feel free to email to set up time to meet with me.

As of next week, my new standard hours at the church will be Tuesday 10-2pm and Wed 3-7pm. I am grateful for the opportunity to serve you as minister and to be with you in this vibrant congregation! I hope to see you this Sunday!

— Rev. Deborah

Weekly Message from Rev. T. J. – In a Flash

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In a Flash

After worship on Sunday, I did my normal routine: dropped Blake to get a sandwich by where we live and headed home. As I turned the corner to my circle by the University, I saw two police officers waving people away. I figured it was getting a little full from people parking for a sporting event, so I tried to explain that I lived locally but the officers just kept waving me away. They had a more serious look than I’m used to here.

So I parked in walking distance where I could, got out of the car, and headed to my house. The moment I opened the door, I smelled it. The school where I went to kindergarten suffered a fire the summer before I started there and the acrid smell permeated every fiber of the building. I smelled it right away. My pace quickened with my heart as I approached my circle. I saw one fire engine, the another, then three more, then more police, and then I turned the fateful corner, and saw it at last.

My neighbor’s house was completely charred and half the neighborhood was scattered in the street.

I got in touch with my neighbor’s best friend right away and said he should come over. When all of the people in all of the units were accounted for, we all breathed a sigh of relief. But as each resident arrived to see what had happened, they were met with the outstretched arms of other residents, other neighbors, other friends. Around the nucleus of those most pointedly affected swirled the neighbors who wondered, waiting to know what to do.

The rest of the day was spent dealing with the practical nature of this huge upheaval–making sketches of the apartments for the fire fighters, etc.–and the new arrival of friends and family to help and comfort those impacted most directly.

There is an old saying: When your house is on fire you don’t argue about where the water’s coming from.  As many of us learned this week and in the coming months, many of us fear what the institution of the Supreme Court will be doing to a nation that feels at turns on fire. As people of good will work together to rally around those groups being impacted most directly, may we all seek the help, seek the healing waters of compassion for those right in our midst.

Over and over, my friend gazing at his home kept saying, “I don’t care about things, just that everyone is safe.” His priorities were clear. At times, tears can do that. Through them we see some things more clearly, especially when our lives change in a flash.

May it ever be so,
Rev. T. J.

Weekly Message from Rev. T. J. – A Summer of Adventure and Sabbath

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A Summer of Adventure and Sabbath

As many of you now know, my time of ministry with this community is coming to an end. I know this is sad in many respects, and it is both an honor and a great gift that people are sharing the concerns and sadness they feel at my departure. Thank you so much for this. It’s deeply felt and deeply treasured. Mahalo.

For the past few years, I’d been planning to be away on sabbatical for June, July, and August of this year. For June, Dr. Michele Townsend-Grove, our amazing Consulting Director of Religious Education will be with us on site to help lead worship and work on transitions in our ministry to the world. Her decades of experience in Unitarian Universalist communities is a valuable resource for all of us to draw from in these times of transition.

We are now also very excited to announce officially the minister who will be with us for July and August, the Reverend Mykal Slack. Here is some information about Rev. Slack:

Rev. Mykal O’Neal Slack is the Community Minister for Worship and Spiritual Care for Black Lives of Unitarian Universalism, an organization and spiritual community committed to supporting Black folx in our UU faith, and a co-founder of the Transforming Hearts Collective, a ministry that both supports spaces for LGBTQ people to access resilience, healing, and spirituality and resources faith communities and other groups for the work of radical welcome and culture shift. He is a Black, Queer, and Trans Southerner, committed to healing and truth-telling, as well as community accountability and care. He has been engaged in congregational ministry for the last 20 years.

Rev. Slack will be on a half-time schedule for July and August, and his primary concerns will be pastoral care and worship leadership. It will be a marvelous summer, I am sure.

The Spiritual Themes for July and August are Adventure and Sabbath respectively. I encourage us all to reflect on what new ideas and new paths might mean for us all while also embracing the very real and very necessary discipline of sabbath, of taking a time for rest and nourishment this summer. The transformative and powerful ministry Rev. Slack offers will be a profound gift for our community. I know welcoming this ministry in the midst of our community will be a great blessing!

And may it ever be so,
Rev. T. J.

Weekly Message from Rev. T. J.

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Mahalo to You All

Aloha Friends,

First and foremost, I love you all so much. I would not be the person I am without the unparalleled gifts this congregation offers the world.

You have given me the incredible gift of inspiration, partnership and aloha for five years. Together we have been through a worldwide pandemic in ways that were very hard, but brought meaning to many seeking it in a time of great pain. We have transformed the church building in new and creative ways to be sustaining and nurturing for families of all kinds and generations to come. We have answered the call of justice ceaselessly together, working for fair access to voting, standing up for the rights of those who are suffering, and seeking out justice to heal a hurting world where it is needed. We have become one of the first places in these lands people think of when they think of the liberal religious tradition in which we boldly stand. We have done a tremendous amount of work to build together the Beloved Community. For this, and simply for who you are, I love you very much.

It is clear that people in places around our shared world are suffering horribly and needlessly and somewhat suddenly. I know it may not seem fair right now, but as a response to recent rises in hostility in parts of the country, the people at a UU church suffering a great deal sought me out to help them face the tremendous weight of a surrounding world that seems set against them. My call has always been to guard and protect the principles of our faith as readily as I guard and protect the people of this shared world. I searched my heart for an answer to give our sibling church, and the answer that came was that I need to answer their call for help.

I will begin serving that church on September 1. I will be able to share more about that community in the coming weeks, but professional ethics and protocol prevent me from discussing that in detail right now.

Please pause. Please breathe. All will be well. You are going to be absolutely fine, I know it.

I am still here with you. Your Board, your leaders, and all of you have everything you need to enter this time of change and growth together. Together we will assure a smooth process of transition over the coming months. There is no need to be worried. Dr. Michele will be with us in June. Rev. Mykal Slack will be with us in July and August. They were already planning to be here during my sabbatical. There are many resources available to our community to help us through this, and the most important resource any of us has is each other.

I know that part of living in the Beloved Community is working together, mourning together, healing together, and understanding together. We will find a way forward together to continue the vital, transformative ministry that this church so generously offers the world.

Many blessings. I love you all.

In faith and hope and aloha,
Rev. T. J.

Weekly Message from Rev. T. J.

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Stars Align

I read the news today, like a lot of you. Sometimes I wonder whether doing that so early in the morning is wise. I think I’ve mentioned the results of a study years ago that found people who do not read the daily news have a longer life expectancy than those who do. There are all kinds of causation questions in such a study, but I don’t think it was arguing that reading the news everyday shortens your life. Still, some mornings, I do wonder…

The news about two stars interacting with one another cracked open the front pages of many news outlets today. An image unlike any of us have ever seen will be etched into our vision forever. That’s right. Today we learned that the oldest stars ever seen were spotted by the Hubble Space Telescope. The only way we were able to see the stars was due to a gravitational phenomenon that comes into play across vast distances of the universe that actually bend space to create a kind of magnifying lens and offers a glimpse at distant objects unavailable even to he strongest space telescopes.

Naturally many eyes are on a another set of stars and their interaction over the past few days, and there is a lot to be said about that. Observers of those stars have voiced support for one or the other. Others have taken the time to do a social critique of violence, privilege, entertainment, and a range of other issues facing a nation, facing a world. Yesterday someone asked me what I would preach about it, and my thought was that all this talking about violence feeds it, makes sense of it, tries to weave it into a story. And I don’t know if such an act deserves all of the attention it’s receiving, especially compared to the other stars in the news.

Scientists across the globe have been working for three and a half years, since the first glimpse of the farthest, oldest stars ever seen, to bring the world news of its discovery. They wanted to be absolutely sure they were actually seeing what they thought they were seeing. And what they were seeing was a set of stars that appears only 900 million years after the Big Bang. For those of you doing the math, the image glimpsed was made by light emitted 12.8 billion years ago from the farthest place in the universe ever seen so far.

Our lives are measured in years, but what can change a life forever can happen in minutes or even seconds. Faced with visions from billions of years ago, it can make a life of minutes seem small. And in some ways it is. But our lives are also very large because each moment we have the chance to change someone’s world forever. Even the slightest act, the most compact moment, can reverberate around the world in a flash and be magnified to the billions of years that are yet to come for us all. May they all be acts of love, friends.

And may it ever be so,
Rev. T. J.

Weekly Message from Rev. T. J.

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Someday

When I was very young, my aunt and uncle lived with three of my cousins in Virginia. I was living in Connecticut then. We took a lot trips south down the highway to see my cousins, and it was a lot of fun. I learned a lot about obeying other peoples’ rules when you’re in their home. I learned a lot about sharing. And I learned a lot about Colonial Williamsburg…because it was nearby.

We also took time as a family to explore that part of the country. I remember late nights of traffic on the Chesapeake Bay Bridge, which might still be one of the longest bridges in the country. I remember the Blue Ridge Parkway, the scenic meandering roadway through ancient mountains, once taller than the Rocky Mountains, laid lower but stouter by time. I also remember horses.

On one trip to one of the surrounding areas—an island, I think—we traveled a two-lane road across a marshy field. The grass was tall on all sides of the lone road. As we drove we were stopped by a group of wild horses. They didn’t flag us down for directions. They were just there, out in the middle of the road, enjoying one another’s company. Honestly, even as I type this, I wonder if it was a dream, or if it was actually on a trip to a rural part of Texas, but where (or even if) it was doesn’t matter that much. We stopped.

There wasn’t anything more we could do. There was no way our sedan would make in through the grass to go around. No one in my family wanted to bother wild horses in the road, and besides, they were beautiful. Yes, they were majestic. Yes, their sinew and muscle was a wonder to behold. But it was their patience, their absolutely unflappable calm in the middle of the road that I remember the best, even if it was a dream.

Wendell Berry speaks of the peace of wild things in a famous poem. In the poem he reflects on the way that wild, untamable, unknowable things bring him some measure of calm. It’s a fine poem. My mustangs are different, though. They are not fixed above like stars, or floating on still waters like a bird. They are the wild that we can touch, that we wonder if we can shoo away so our sedan can keep journeying on its way.

I always wonder at what we call wild. Sometimes the word we are looking for is unpredictable. Sometimes we want to control or possess it. The apprehension in the moment before we try to change what is wild, though, holds something deep and old in our bones. I think it is a respect for the freedom in wild things. Two-lane highways, high grasses, and sedans cannot tell wild things where to go. Instead, the steeds swatting flies away, lolling in the sun warming the marshy land, speak with their silence. And we can almost hear them: “join us.” Maybe someday we will.

Weekly Message from Rev. T. J.

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Real Candles

“You should get real candles. You’re a minister.”

I was at Bed, Bath & Beyond and my friend was helping me get some supplies. I explained that we light a chalice at church and that the electric ones last so much longer and are a lot safer in an old building. So when I was looking for candles for my home chalice to light in the times when everything was streaming and on online platforms, I was looking at the electric ones. He scoffed and wasn’t swayed. Whether primal or merely preference, he thought the real thing was important.

On Saturday, I lit the chalice I brought with me to the home where our dear friend Betsy lived. I lit the candle the chalice held, the real candle. There was singing and playing. There was reading. There was longing and there were goodbyes, all shared by the light of the chalice. I remember coming back to the living room after spending time with family and friends whose hearts were breaking, whose feelings of loss and grief were reaching the kinds of outward expressions that give voice to the love we hold for one another that we can’t fully realize until we bid farewell.

I don’t know if someone blew the candle out. I don’t know if the flame was quelled in the melting wax. I don’t know if a wind swept through to quiet the flame. But the flame was out. The stillness of the chalice was like the pause at the turn of a breath from exhalation to inhalation, like it was resting, deciding what it might do next.

When I hold the chalice now, somehow the roughness of the clay is more satisfying. The smooth parts, glazed and blue, feel even more expertly crafted than before. I find that I don’t want to remove the wax that flowed out into the bowl of the chalice. I don’t want to disturb what feelings might be pressed into that wax, like the record of a morning none of us will ever get to play again yet we all can recall perfectly, exquisitely.

Maybe this is what honor feels like. Maybe it’s what reverence teaches. And maybe the final obedience to the certainty we all face, of mortality, is a more gentle yielding than many of us imagine. Maybe.

But this I know. The voice of a friend echoes now with gratitude for the honor, the reverence, and wisdom he shared: “You should get real candles.”

And may it ever be so.
Rev. T. J.

Weekly Message from Rev. T. J.

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The First Day

The proudest I might ever have felt on the first day of school was all because of monsters. My shirt had monsters all over it and it buttoned up, like a big boy’s shirt. I also had orange shorts, which matched some of the orange in the shirt. It was quite a set of clothes that I’d get to wear on the first day as the new kid in a new school. To be honest, I don’t really even remember wearing the outfit to school. I remember much more clearly picking it out with my mom and my sister and trying it on for my family.

There is something to getting ready for a big day, right? So many of the weddings I’ve helped people prepare for take months and months of work, discussions, tears (always tears), rethinking, reevaluating, and threatening to elope if an in-law invites one more distant, distant cousin…OK, perhaps that’s not the case in all weddings. But what is the case in all those events is the amount of preparation for a day that one hopes to remember forever.

In a few days, some folks are going to show up for the first day of in-person church in a few years. The amount of preparation and commitment to coming together again after two years is inspiring to me. The hundreds of hours of work that have gone into this effort–from cleaning floors, to painting ceilings; from crafting sign-up forms, to perfecting new technology; from loving conversations, to assisting our beloved friend–is humbling and deeply and powerfully felt. And what is so wonderful is that this work, this effort, will pay dividends week after week as we get better and better at welcoming people to be together.

I am all for one-time-only events like a first day of school or a wedding. But you know what happens so often at those events? That’s a good question, because many don’t remember all of the many things that happen on those special days. Some wedding couples are so insistent on having a photographer and videographer because they know they will not be able to remember everything about the event–there’s just so much going on. Some fourth graders remember more easily their time with their families saying how cool their monster button-up big boy shirts are paired with their orange shorts that hang below their knees (it was the 80s, sorry).

Sunday worship is a practice. The many threads that weave that fabric of worship are threads spun from the hearts of those who help prepare for its coming every week, those who show up, those who share their gifts, and so many more. Like all the days of my life, I am confident that there are going to be ways to do, to practice Sunday worship even more fully, even more skillfully. Unlike a wedding or our first day of school, we get to do this every week and so we get more chances to do it well. And with you grace and a dose of good humor, I know we can do this as we do all things: together.

May it ever be so,
Rev. T. J.

Weekly Message from Rev. T. J.

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Trigger warning: this is about having dental work done. For some people, even the thought of that is unsettling, so I wanted to be clear about what you’ll be reading if you continue.

Piece of Work

Isn’t the needle always longer than you ever expect? Also, its very presence was never mentioned. When I was being scheduled to have a cavity filled, the hygienist was so up, so bubbly. Something in my mind actually thought, “Hey, maybe the technology for having cavities filled has advanced since my last one. Maybe there’re no needles, numbing, weird smells, foul tastes, and drilling anymore.” If only wishing made it so.

I’m going to skip the needle part out of respect to those who “just can’t” with needles. I get it. As the numbing agent spread first to my chin, then my throat, on and on, until spreading as far as my ear, I was struck by the interconnectedness of the pathways in my head—both neural and circulatory. I giggled a little and exclaimed through gauze, a rubber stopper between my teeth, and a number of implements in my mouth a delighted, “Wow!” The dentist said, “We’re going to wait a minute for the numbing,” I hummed (gurgled, really) the Jeopardy! theme song. They were unimpressed.

It has been quite some time since I’ve had any anesthetic for anything, and my wonder at its effectiveness made me think of a scene in Family Guy, a raunchy grown-up cartoon television series. One of the characters has something mildly fortuitous happen to them and they say, “Thank God.” Then the scene pans up to heaven and some clouds where a robed figure meant to be God says, “Thank me for that? Geez. What about the human endocrine system? Or the digestive system? No one appreciates my best work.”

And indeed, what a piece of work is the human body. Many of us don’t really know how it functions until we actually need to know. Many of us only learn how systems of the body work when those systems turn against us. For me, a very slight feeling of a moral failing led the procession of other feelings as I walked to get my filling. “I should brush better.” “I should eat less gelato.” These marched in before, “How does enamel break down?” It’s a challenge not to feel we’ve let ourselves down when something goes wrong with our bodies.

But I think of the bubbly invitation to have my cavity filled. I think of the lack of foreboding by the hygienist. The doctor’s matter-of-fact pronouncement, “I’ll be putting composite on now,” carried no judgment. And even my gurgled Jeopardy! theme’s flat reception calmed me in a way. No one was judging me or the cavity. No one needed me to lighten the mood. The arrangement of dust dictated by eons of genetic selection was out of whack. And this time around, it was nothing a drill and some plaster couldn’t fix. They’re as good for a church roof as the roof of my mouth. Sure, it’s a reminder that there will come a day when a rough implement and new, sticky dust won’t do the trick. But until then, I’ll just keep humming (gurgling) the tune of this Final Jeopardy! we are all in together…whether my audience likes it or not.

And may it ever be so.
Rev. T. J.

Weekly Message from Rev. T. J.

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I Got In

Me: “I just locked myself out Lol”

Friend: “Dude!”

Me: “I’ll get in”

Friend: “I think it’s time you hide a key outside or something”

[3 minutes later]

Me: “I got in”

This, you may be able to surmise, is not the first such conversation I’ve had with a friend. I’ve locked myself out of my house about a half dozen times. Usually, I’m texting, like this morning. Sometimes I’m rushing. But the same feeling washes over me whenever I do this. I can feel it ripple down my spine. It pulses and contracts my back so I’m looking up at the sun and gritting my teeth. You might think I’m grinning dopily into the center of our solar system if you happened to drive by.

I slid out a few of the glass panes in my living room windows and reached to the inside of the door. I could feel the inside lock with my finger tips, and I was able to move the stub in the center of the knob the quarter turn it needed to let me in. I realize I’ve just provided step-by-step instructions to anyone who cares to visit my apartment unannounced. But as a friend who showed me this technique said, “Everybody here knows you can do this.”

As I walked back into my home to fetch the less illicit way to enter the space—namely, my keys—I was stuck by the long-running agreement with my neighbors, that, to my knowledge, has only been broken one time, when I surprised one of my neighbors in my home and chased them down the street until they returned my belongings. But other than that, such a simple place to enter (no breaking, only entering required) has never been entered.

There is something sacred in that, even if only mediated by a fear of being caught and punished. Anyone can get in, but only one person in more than two years has ever done so without a key or an invitation. And the one person who did enter without permission likely needed something pretty badly if he was willing to risk crossing the sacred threshold of another’s home.

It makes me think of other places in my life that need a key or an invitation. It makes me think of what opening doors, even just in a limited way for our own spiritual home will look like. It makes me think about all the people who might want to enter: the key holders and others who easily make themselves at home.

I wonder most about the person who’s been waiting for a chance to come inside, perhaps longing, searching, yearning for something of value, something that will help them to make it through this world just a little easier, with just a little less pain or discomfort—the person who says “I’ll get in. I’ll get in. I’ll get in.” Then at last they tell their friend with a little bit of pride and a lot of relief, “I got in.” They’re easy to spot. If you drive by, you can see them looking up and grinning ear to ear, as if in praise of sensing for the first time what they’ve been searching for all their life.

And may it ever be so.
Rev. T. J.